What heavenly father would punish you eternally if he is all love and compassion? You are the product of the divine. You have free will; however, God knows you will make mistakes, and that’s part of the journey. Some journeys are more difficult than others, and some people start out in harsh environments, circumstances, and with disabling conditions. God hears you, He understands you, and all He expects of you is to be your best where you are with what you have. Is there anything else you can do? Stop punishing yourself. God doesn’t demand perfection; He just asks you to be the best you.
Danny G.