What is playing the victim game? Does it serve any purpose? Does it bring anybody true joy and satisfaction? Usually the victim game falls into one of these three statements: you’re basically telling the universe, I’ve got it rough, or nobody understands me, or life will always be this way.
I understand life can be difficult at times, and there is a time for letting out our frustrations to receive guidance, but venting has to stop somewhere down the line. If we don’t stop venting we’ll either remain depressed or we’ll attract whatever we’re complaining about.
Which is the best alternative? Do you want someone to tell you, you’re in control of your life, and I know you have what it takes to get through this and succeed? Or do you want someone to sit in front of you saying it’s awful that you have to go through this, I can’t possibly imagine going through something such as this? What’s better? Complaining about our life, or blaming others for our misfortunes, or saying I’m in control of my life and I will get through this and succeed.
If our thoughts and words create our reality then which words would you rather affirm? Words that are empowering and uplifting or words of pessimism and bitterness?
We must look at our motives when talking about our problems, and ask ourselves am I looking for a solution or am I magnifying the problem? When looking for a solution there can be benefits from talking to someone about our problems, because our mind is focused on the solution and we’re projecting this message in the conversation, therefore, we draw in the solution.
But if we’re pessimistic and only focusing on the problem, we’ll start expecting and planning for the worst case scenario, thereby attracting it. I understand releasing our frustrations can be therapeutic, but once we release our thoughts, we should let it go. The only benefit in releasing one’s thoughts is to identify them, as it’s easier to change them when we known what they mean.
The only benefit there is in listening to someone’s problems is giving sound advice and focusing on the solution and not the problem. Sometimes we believe compassion should be a shoulder to cry on, listening to problems all day long, and nodding in agreement. Yet can a solution occur if we simply nod in agreement to thoughts of pessimism and bitterness?
True compassion is saying I believe in you, and I believe you’ll get through this, and I believe you’ll do something great. But the only way I can help you is by reminding you you’re in control of this situation and by letting you know the universe is on your side.
What do you truly want, a shoulder to cry on for a few minutes or maybe a few hours? Or do you want someone to say, let’s work this out, and I know we’ll get there? Playing the victim game will never get you anywhere, but looking for a solution will eventually lead to more solutions and achievements, and eventually your breakthrough.