Tag: acceptance

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Acceptance

Why do we prejudge an individual based on outward appearance? We observe someone who is socially awkward or unique in one way or a homeless man, and immediately we prejudge them without even recognizing we do so. We think we know who they are with a quick observation or conversation. Can we truly know someone based on first impressions?

Can you determine the history of an individual based on first impressions? Can you determine an individual’s problems and insecurities based on first impressions? Can you determine arrogance by simply observing, or can you read between the lines and figure out shyness?

Some of us are intuitive and better at reading people or situations, however, we cannot know someone from a simple observation or conversation. If you knew the story behind the demeanour, or attitude, would you still judge?

In other words, would you mock or insult an individual’s awkwardness, if you knew he had traumatic brain damage or a serious brain disease? Would you mock or insult an individual because of his shuffling walk if you knew he suffered from a serious debilitating condition?

Most people wouldn’t be so cruel if they understood the origin of the problem and the traumatic condition. That is called compassion. The reason you understand and feel compassion towards your loved ones, is because you know their story. Everyone else has a story, you’re simply looking at the surface and not at the root of the identity.

Let’s say you had a loved one who had become bitter and resentful towards others, however, you understood him and witnessed his caring personality. You knew his demeanour was the result of being severely mistreated and you knew he had all types of tribulations in his life. Would you still see him as a good-hearted individual, because you understand the reason for his demeanour? Think of a bystander who doesn’t know him personally, but recognizes his bitter personality. Can we agree that most bystanders under these circumstances would prejudge?

Every person you meet has a reason for who they are today. We may not understand them, but if we can understand our loved ones, we can make an effort to understand every other person as well. Using our past or challenges to be bitter or cruel shouldn’t be an excuse, however, we should acknowledge the fact that some people aren’t as fortunate as us.

We look at others and contemplate in our minds whether we should give them any of our time. If our favourite musician or favourite actor was in front of us, we’d give them our undivided attention. What if a homeless man was standing before us? Who needs acceptance and appreciation more than the other, the well-known musician or the homeless man?

We tell ourselves, the homeless man probably made some poor choices, so that gives us a reason to ignore them or be arrogant with them. Is there a wealthy man in the world who is perfect with no flaws?

Everyone is struggling with something, for some people it’s paying their bills on times, for others, it’s greed and deception. Is one weakness greater than the other? We’re all in the game of life trying to figure things out. Some of us are on the streets trying to find a job while others have the most prestigious jobs, but got there through deceiving people.

Let’s not prejudge others by putting ourselves on a pedestal of better or worse. Is life a competition? As long as life is a competition, there will always be a loser, hence there will always be someone left behind.

We are all one and we all come from the same source, which created the universe. Whatever you do for one person, you just helped everyone who is connected to that individual, as we are all interconnected in one way or another.

Let’s remove the labels and remember the most recognized scripture, “Love your brothers and sisters as you love yourself.” A person shouldn’t receive special treatment because of his or her appearance or wealth. If they get special treatment, it should be because they are good-hearted people. Anything else is not recognizing what truly matters in life.

Rather than reacting to our preconceived notions, let’s create a world where acceptance is determined by a person’s values, kind nature and needs, not physical attributes that are irrelevant to who we are.

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Focus On You First

There’s nothing wrong with putting yourself first, since you cannot help others if you lose your alignment. How many people lose their balance if they do everything for others and they do nothing for themselves? People often become depressed if they neglect themselves in the process of trying to help or please everyone but themselves.

We need to keep a balance and do those things which allow us to be healthy physically, mentally and spiritually. Sometimes all that’s needed is a little time to unwind doing something that relieves stress and brings joy.

Stress is the number one factor in creating disease, so wouldn’t spending time unwinding be logical to remain healthy? Exhaustion is another reason people develop health conditions. Sometimes all that’s needed is more time distracting ourselves from everyday problems. How many people can you help if you’re not in alignment? And how much assistance can you be if you’re not in alignment?

You’ve been programmed to believe that sacrificing your happiness is the correct way to live, and the noble thing to do. You’ve been programmed to believe life is about helping and pleasing everyone but you. You’ve been pressuring yourself to believe there’s only one way to live.

Think a different thought such as how many people can I help if I am in alignment? You keep your balance by being spiritually connected since you’re a spiritual being who needs to remain connected to its source.

You remain healthy and ready to tackle your problems by keeping a healthy lifestyle through diet, exercise, and sleep. Most important it’s by being spiritually connected through meditation or prayer, or anything that allows us to connect to ourselves on a spiritual level.

Why have we concluded the noble thing to do is sacrifice our happiness for others? I understand there is a level of sacrifice that we should do for others, however, there is also balance. I understand many people have traumatic events in their lives with their loved ones, and they need to put more time and energy for their family or friends sake. But don’t make the mistake of neglecting balance, since there is always a little bit of time we can reserve for ourselves to recharge the battery, and live more meaningfully.

We have no control over others other than the influence we give them through the clarity of our example. We can pray for them, we can teach them, but ultimately it’s their life and choices. Focus on you first and then you’ll be in a much better place to make a difference in the world and in the lives of your loved ones.

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Understanding Humanity and Uniqueness

There’s a reason for every individual behaviour. You may say to yourself, he’s just arrogant and obnoxious. He’s just a mean old man with no manners. He has no social skills whatsoever. Many of these individuals whom you call mean or rude, grew up with judgemental parents or siblings, or perhaps they were extremely belittled as a child. Maybe they were never taught otherwise, so their inappropriateness seems appropriate to them.

Their behaviour shouldn’t be condoned, and we have the right to speak up for ourselves since everyone deserves respect. But what if you didn’t have the caring parents, or mentors, or the friends you have? How would you be?

The environment we have as children and teenagers has an impact on who we become as a person. Parents, siblings, friends, neighbourhoods, and teachers, all have an impact on our upbringing and growth as a person. To deny that our environment has an impact on who we become, would be saying relationships have no power in the unfolding of our life.

Almost everywhere you go and everyone you meet has different standards of what is acceptable or not. We’re just people, and everyone is struggling with something, so why put each other on a pedestal of better or worse? Everyone’s journey starts differently and is unique in one way or another, so why do we give each other labels?

Actions have consequences and we should be cautious not to hurt others, however, some people struggle with arrogance and others struggle with gossip. Is one better than the other?

If you didn’t have the caring people in your life who supported you and who were loyal to you, would you have turned out the same? People don’t understand as long as we categorize everyone, there’s always going to be someone left out. How do you truly understand someone if you haven’t walked his path?

There’s a reason for everybody’s behaviour. However, using our past history or our challenges today as a crutch to not be sympathetic or compassionate, shouldn’t be an excuse. Although we have control over the unfolding of our life, we must consider, our past is responsible for who we are today. Furthermore, our response to adversities ultimately defines who we are, and some people simply don’t know how to respond to the trials of life.

We should be more understanding that we’re not all at the same place in our lives, and we didn’t start at the same place either. We should respect everyone’s journey, and know everyone is unique in one way or another.

Simply saying I understand and I respect you is enough to show compassion, and acceptance. This approach will be much more effective at creating a peaceful world and environment for everyone involved.

Condoning the behaviour isn’t the answer, however, we should be more understanding that not everyone is as fortunate as us, and everyone reacts differently to the challenges of life. The contrast allows us to evolve as people ultimately for the expansion of humanity and the universe.

Acceptance, sympathy and compassion is much more effective at creating a peaceful world than judgment or blame.