The moment you try to end your life or you contemplate it, is the day the pain will be a multitude greater, because deep down you know you’re supposed to be alive until the day God calls you home. As long as you have breath, you’re supposed to be alive. Danny G.
Focus On The Solution
What is playing the victim game? Does it serve any purpose? Does it bring anybody true joy and satisfaction? Usually the victim game falls into one of these three statements: you’re basically telling the universe, I’ve got it rough, or nobody understands me, or life will always be this way.
I understand life can be difficult at times, and there is a time for letting out our frustrations to receive guidance, but venting has to stop somewhere down the line. If we don’t stop venting we’ll either remain depressed or we’ll attract whatever we’re complaining about.
Which is the best alternative? Do you want someone to tell you, you’re in control of your life, and I know you have what it takes to get through this and succeed? Or do you want someone to sit in front of you saying it’s awful that you have to go through this, I can’t possibly imagine going through something such as this? What’s better? Complaining about our life, or blaming others for our misfortunes, or saying I’m in control of my life and I will get through this and succeed.
If our thoughts and words create our reality then which words would you rather affirm? Words that are empowering and uplifting or words of pessimism and bitterness?
We must look at our motives when talking about our problems, and ask ourselves am I looking for a solution or am I magnifying the problem? When looking for a solution there can be benefits from talking to someone about our problems, because our mind is focused on the solution and we’re projecting this message in the conversation, therefore, we draw in the solution.
But if we’re pessimistic and only focusing on the problem, we’ll start expecting and planning for the worst case scenario, thereby attracting it. I understand releasing our frustrations can be therapeutic, but once we release our thoughts, we should let it go. The only benefit in releasing one’s thoughts is to identify them, as it’s easier to change them when we known what they mean.
The only benefit there is in listening to someone’s problems is giving sound advice and focusing on the solution and not the problem. Sometimes we believe compassion should be a shoulder to cry on, listening to problems all day long, and nodding in agreement. Yet can a solution occur if we simply nod in agreement to thoughts of pessimism and bitterness?
True compassion is saying I believe in you, and I believe you’ll get through this, and I believe you’ll do something great. But the only way I can help you is by reminding you you’re in control of this situation and by letting you know the universe is on your side.
What do you truly want, a shoulder to cry on for a few minutes or maybe a few hours? Or do you want someone to say, let’s work this out, and I know we’ll get there? Playing the victim game will never get you anywhere, but looking for a solution will eventually lead to more solutions and achievements, and eventually your breakthrough.
Being Steadfast
What happens when we walk into an exam room completely oblivious and not prepared with what will be on the exam? We feel anxious, we doubt ourselves, and we worry about not passing the exam, which is normal because we haven’t studied. Same goes with life, and the challenges we face on a daily basis along with the goals we set for ourselves. If we’re not prepared and ready to withstand the challenges of life, we risk failing, and giving up all together.
We’ve heard the saying, mindset changes everything, so if we’re completely oblivious on how to handle the obstacles on our path, how do we not waver? How can we believe in our well being or prosperity, if we’re not confident, and we have no reason to believe in ourselves? We all need wisdom in life, to make good choices and to become the greater version of ourselves. Without wisdom, we have no guidance or direction and it’s the circumstances and experiences in life that will decide for us.
Having the right mindset means focusing on our source and the solution. It can be health challenges, relationship challenges, career challenges or any future endeavours. If we don’t spend time refocusing our thoughts, or reflecting, we will be clueless when we face the trials of life. Then we end up failing, when a little bit of contemplation and refocusing would have changed the course.
Only when we focus on the solution and we prepare ourselves mentally by changing our thoughts, we are able to handle whatever comes our way. We can have all the knowledge in the world, but if we lack wisdom and we don’t know how to handle adversities and challenges, the knowledge won’t do any good.
We’ve heard the parable of the two men who built their houses, one of them built his house on a rock while the other one built his house on the sand. When the storm came in, the house on the rock was still standing while the house on the sand fell. The parable says we are to build our house on a rock to withstand the storm. This simply means being prepared and solid to withstand times of adversity, by immersing ourselves in the truths that govern humanity.
All we need is a few minutes every day devoted to our spiritual relationship with ourselves. Five, ten or fifteen minutes of meditation or refocusing allows us to face challenges in life with greater ease and wisdom, and the adversity isn’t as overwhelming.
When we are prepared for the exam, we’re confident, and successful. Same applies in life, and the everyday day challenges and the opportunities for growth. If we devote time for our wellness and growth, we will be confident and successful in life. The adversity will teach us valuable insight that will be beneficial for the next challenge or endeavour.